


no one heals me like you

by remadebydreamers



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:27:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29171094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remadebydreamers/pseuds/remadebydreamers
Summary: There's something off with David, and Patrick is the first to notice, starting with the first skipped breakfast. He may not be able to fix his boyfriend, but he can be there to be there to help him through it.
Relationships: Alexis Rose & David Rose, Patrick Brewer & Alexis Rose, Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 14
Kudos: 100





	no one heals me like you

When Patrick walks into Rose Apothecary, he’s startled to see David standing behind the register. After spending the night at Patrick’s place, he usually lingered in the mornings, sharing a slow breakfast with Patrick, and making them both late for work. But today, he had slipped out before Patrick had even awoken, with the only hint at his departure being a short text message, reading “Had to head out early! I’ll catch you later xoxo.”

Naturally, Patrick had presumed that this meant David was taking an “unannounced” day off and wanted to avoid Patrick’s scolding by leaving before he could find out. This, though, was uncharted territory. 

“David.” He slides his bag off his shoulder. “What are you doing here? Are you feeling okay? Because I can’t think of any other reason you would wake up that early and decide to come to work.”

David has a satisfied smirk on his lips. “Mhm. Well, as nice as it is to hear my boyfriend’s confidence in my work ethic, what happened was that I remembered I forgot to store one of my sweaters before I went to your place last night. I had to run home immediately to put it away before the moths could get to it. By the time I was done, I figured I would head over to the store and surprise you by opening early.”

Patrick leans across the counter to give David a quick peck on the lips. Even though the gesture was only a result of David’s obsession with his sweaters, he’s still touched. As he replays the story in his mind, he realizes how he can do something sweet for David in return. 

“Hey, it sounds like you didn’t have time to get breakfast. Do you want me to pick up something from the café for you before the customers start coming in?”

David pauses for a minute, drumming his fingers across the counter before he finally responses to Patrick. “Honestly, I’m not feeling that hungry. I think the early start is throwing me off. But thanks for asking, honey.”

He disappears into the back, leaving Patrick alone in front of the register, starting to get sneaking sensation that something isn’t right.

It’s a small thing, really. Something that would slip through the cracks if it was anyone else. But it’s David, so Patrick notices. David, who’s never been known to turn down a piece of food. David, who’s usually the one begging Patrick to buy him something. David, who’s been late for work on multiple occasions because he was on his lunch break and lost track of time. For as long as he’s known him, Patrick has known that food is the love language of David Rose. And so, it makes no sense when he tries to put the pieces together. 

For the rest of the day, he watches David out of the corner of his eye, trying to figure out if something is wrong. There’s no hint that anything out of the ordinary is happening. He sees as David heads over to the café for his lunch break, and he tells himself that he was imagining things. Sometimes people’s appetites change. Just because it was out of character for David to turn down a free meal didn’t mean it was impossible. 

He tries to push the worry to the back of his mind, and it almost works. It fades into the background noise of the day by the time he’s ready to go home, and as he starts to get in bed to go to sleep, it’s gone almost entirely. It’s most likely he wouldn’t have thought about it again, except for another small incident that sets off alarm bells in Patrick’s head.

It’s the holiday season, and they’re in the middle of one of their busiest days in weeks. Ever since the store opened, customers have been coming in and out in an endless stream. Patrick can hardly keep track of what needs restocking and reshelfing, as he tries to balance working the register and helping customers. David, too, is over his head. All day, Patrick watches him dart around the store, explaining what body milk is to a clueless customer looking for a gift for their aunt, and gently redirecting mothers with children away from the more fragile (and expensive) lotion bottles. 

Luckily, they hit a lull in the middle of the afternoon, giving hem enough time to catch their breath in a storage room. Patrick is tiredly finishing the other half of the sandwich he sneaked bites of while between customers, when he looks up at the clock and realizes, wow, it’s way past David’s lunch break. Usually, David would never let him forget it.

“Oh shoot, David,” he says. “You worked past your lunch break. You can go over now, if you want, I can hold down the fort while you’re gone.”

David waves his hand dismissively. “You don’t have to bother. I had a huge breakfast today, so I wasn’t in the mood for lunch. I barely noticed that I missed it.”

Patrick frowns. “Are you sure you ‘barely noticed’? You usually have a bottomless pit of a stomach. I can’t imagine that you could just casually skip lunch.”

Taking a page out of Alexis’s book, David groans dramatically. “It’s fine, Patrick, don’t worry about me. I know for a fact we’re having pizza at the motel tonight, so I’ll make up for any lost carbs then, believe me.”

At that moment, the bell at the entrance of the store rings, and David breezes out of the room, leaving Patrick staring in his wake. The refused breakfast was a one thing, but this marks the second time David has turned down food within a week. And Patrick is even more disturbed by the way David is brushing off the topic, since typically, he could talk about food for hours. He privately resolves to pay closer attention to David’s daily habits, and maybe get him to address this directly, but the final straw doesn’t come until over a month later. 

Patrick goes home to see his family for the holidays on an extended vacation, and he leaves David behind at Schitt’s Creek. When he gets back, the first few weeks are a blur of tending to the shop and catching up on everything he’s missed. Alexis is planning some big event, so he sees little of David for a long time, mostly left to handle Rose Apothecary business on his own.

When things finally settle down, Patrick decides to surprise David with a romantic dinner at the café. He continues Twyla to usher out other customers early, and he sends David a casual text about something that needs to be taken care of at the café. 

Patrick’s waiting at the table when David rushes in, looking flustered and ready to fight someone, but his face softens immediately when he sees the candles and the nice shirt that Patrick is wearing.

“Oh,” he says softly, “did you do this all for us?”

Patrick nods his affirmation. “I did. I didn’t think we had been getting enough alone time lately, so I thought I would arrange this nice dinner for us. I’ve missed you so much, David.”

David climbs into the booth across from Patrick, his eyes full of tenderness. “I’ve missed you too. Thank you so much for setting this up.”

Twyla comes by with the already prepared main dishes, and they dig in, catching each other up all the while. Somewhere around halfway through the meal, Patrick starts to notice that David has been doing a lot more talking than eating. His lasagna is barely touched. 

He mentions it to David, thinking perhaps his boyfriend got distracted by their proximity for the first time in weeks. “Hey David, maybe you want to actually eat some of that?”

He points his fork at David’s dish, and David laughs. “Of course, I was just getting around to that. But first, you have to hear what Roland did at the motel on Christmas Eve. My dad was furious.”

It’s four stories later before Patrick notices that David hasn’t made any more progress on his food at all. When Twyla comes to clear off their table, she hesitates a moment before picking up David’s full plate, but when he doesn’t tell her she can leave it, she shrugs and picks it up. 

“Good to see you’re saving room for dessert, at least!” she says brightly. 

She disappears back into the kitchen to grab dessert, but before she returns, David stands up and starts to put on his coat.

Patrick grabs his arm to stop him from leaving. “Where are you going? We still have a course left.”

David makes that particular face of his, the one where he’s trying to figure out a polite way to say no without ruffling any feathers. “Babe, I hate to leave early, but the flyers for the event Alexis is hosting come in tonight, and she threatened to murder me if I don’t get back to help her fold them.”

Patrick can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Since when has a threat from your sister ever motivated you to do something?”

“Okay, you might have a point there, but I promise, this is a true emergency. Alexis is going crazy thanks to the whole Ted thing, and I need to make sure she doesn’t lose her mind entirely.” He places his hands over Patrick’s and looks his boyfriend straight in the eye. “I love you. Thank you for thinking of this. I promise I appreciate it, and I wish I could stay.”

He presses a brief kiss to Patrick’s forehead, and then rushes out the door. When Twyla comes back with the chocolate mousse, Patrick is starting to put on his coat as well.

“Where’s David?” she asks, furrowing her brow. “Don’t tell me he bailed. One of my mom’s ex-boyfriend bailed on her for a dinner date except it was actually a drug exchange, and she was basically left alone with a bunch of gang members, and—”

As much as Patrick appreciates Twyla’s misguided attempt to cheer him up, he’s too upset about David to sit through a story right now. “Sorry, Twyla, but I think I’m going to head home. David had to help his family with something.”

“That makes sense,” she says. “Well, I hope you had a good dinner regardless.”

“I did,” Patrick mutters under his breath. “I don’t think David even tasted the dinner.”

“What’s that?” Twyla asks pleasantly.

“Nothing,” Patrick says. “Have a good night!”

On the way back to his car, Patrick can’t stop thinking about David and how odd the dinner was, from David’s aversion to the main course to his sudden exit before dessert. If Alexis’s program folding was so urgent, why hadn’t David mentioned it earlier? The more he lingers on it, the more the details start to jump out in his mind—the dark circles under his eyes, which David had a nine step regimen specifically to prevent, the way his sweater hung loosely off his shoulders, and a certain hollowness in his cheeks that hadn’t been there when Patrick had gotten a good look at him last. 

He decides enough is enough. It’s time he asks David about what’s going on. But, as it turns out, he doesn’t have to. 

Mr. Rose is bringing Mrs. Rose on a trip for the day, so they have the car. Because it’s so cold out, Patrick decides he’ll be nice and offer David a ride to work. As he anticipated, David eagerly accepts, and 20 minutes later, he’s waiting outside of the motel room as David finishes up his skin care routine. After five minutes of waiting, the door creaks open, and Patrick leans forward, expecting to see David. Instead, though, it’s Alexis. He sighs and turns up the car heat, expecting her to head the other way, but as he watches, she walks closer and closer until she’s tapping on his window. Wondering what on earth is going on, Patrick rolls the window down.

“Hi, Alexis,” he says. “Did David send you to tell me he’ll be out soon? Because I know ‘soon’ means at least another 15 minutes.”

She giggles a little, but it seems forced. “No, but that would be, like, totally something David would do.” She glances down at her nails for a minute before swinging her gaze up again. “Umm, actually, David doesn’t know I’m talking to you right now.”

Okay, Patrick thinks. There’s a lot of ways this conversation could go.

She avoids his gaze for another minute, and Patrick holds his breath, unsure of what she’ll say next. Eventually, she seems to summon up the courage to continue.

“I’m a little worried about David,” she says.

“Why?” Patrick asks, suddenly feeling the weight of the conversation he’s just entered. It’s rare for the Rose siblings to ever admit that they care for each other, much less worry about one another. 

“Ever since he was a teenager—” she cuts herself out and takes a deep breath. “Ever since he was a teenager, he’s had this thing with eating. I don’t know exactly when or why it started, but he hid it, at first. Mom and Dad were, like, flying around the world or whatever, and I was at boarding school, so no one really noticed. But then he collapsed. It was totally out of nowhere, and they sent him to the hospital. While he was there, they—they ran some tests and determined that it was because of starvation.”

Patrick draws in a sharp breath at this word, and Alexis pauses.

“They kept him for as long as they legally could, but by then, he was 18, and they couldn’t force him into any kind of treatment. Maybe my parents could have, um, if they really wanted to, but after the hospital said he would pull through, they were off again.”

She sounds bitter, the anger at this past version of the absent Rose parents tinting her tone.

“It was totally unfair because they didn’t let me come home to stay with him, so he was pretty much….on his own. He never talked about it, after that, and none of us were with him long enough to watch how he was doing or anything. I guess I noticed sometimes, when we had those big fancy dinners, and we got all dressed up. You could see how much weight he had lost, some years. One time, I walked in on him, like, punching another hole in his belt.

It went on like that for years, until I stayed with him for a few months, after I got banned from Croatia. My whole apartment was there, and Carly had this thing going on with the mafia, so I had to crash with David. That was the one time I picked up on his little habits. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it was really lame that I had to live with my brother, but, I don’t know, I’m kind of thankful that I have a better sense for what’s going on with him now.

I bet he’s, like, avoiding meals, right? And he makes excuses about how he’s not hungry, or he’ll just eat more later?”

Patrick nods numbly.

“Yeah.” She presses her lips into a narrow line. “That’s how it starts, before it gets really bad.” 

Patrick is almost afraid to ask. He asks, anyways. “What does ‘really bad’ mean?”

Alexis tilts her version skyward and twirls a lock of her around her finger. “Mood swings. Extreme fatigue. Fainting. More excuses. And he’s cold, all the time.” She grimaces for a moment. “I think he does other stuff, too, but I’m not sure.”

His head is spinning. This is a whole new side of David he couldn’t have guessed at. Wincing, he thinks back to David’s outburst, when he told Patrick he was “damaged goods.” At the time, he had assumed David was referring to past relationships, but clearly David’s problems with himself run deeper than that. 

He can sense how nervous Alexis is, and with a quick glance at the clock, he sees that they don’t have much time left before David comes out. Quickly, he thinks of how to best phrase his next question, but in the end, he decides to be as direct as possible. “Why are you telling me this?”

Alexis shakes her whole body, the way she does when she’s frustrated with something. “Because he’s so stubborn, he would never tell you about it, and he needs help, even if he refuses to admit it. And you’re the first person he’s ever liked this much.” Her words are soft. “I thought you deserved to know.”

“Thank you, Alexis,” Patrick says, his voice equally as emotional, "for telling me.”

Behind her, he sees David emerge from the motel and give him a little wave.

“I’m going to get going now,” Alexis tells him, giving him a little tap on the arm. “But talk to him about it, yeah?”

“I will, I promise,” Patrick reassures her. 

She dashes off, moving impressively quickly for the height of the heels she’s wearing. David slides into the car next to Patrick and gives him a quick kiss. 

“What was my sister talking to you about?” he asks, his tone slightly perturbed. “She wasn’t spreading rumors about me, was she?”

Outwardly, Patrick laughs, but in his head, he anxiously tries to formulate a believable story. “No, she was just asking me a question about when those lip balms she likes are going to come back in stock. And besides, she gave me all the ammunition I need about you a long time ago.”

David groans. “Ugh, she’s the worst.”

From there, David launches into a story about Alexis once replacing his shampoo with hair dye when she was mad at him, which subsequently turned his hair green. It has Patrick in stitches by the time they get to the shop, and it’s enough to remind him that no matter David’s past, he’s still the same funny, vivacious, too large for life guy that Patrick first fell for. 

They go about their day in the shop like usual, and when he can, Patrick sneaks to the back room and researches everything he can find about eating disorders. If he’s going to support David, he needs to do this right. A few hours later, it’s time to close up shop, and Patrick casually suggests David stay the night. It takes little convincing for David to agree. 

At the apartment, David settles down on the couch while Patrick wanders around the kitchen, trying to decide what the next course of action should be. He doesn’t want to force David to eat with him, but at the same time, he’s afraid that having this conversation before dinner will scare David away from eating at all.

Sighing, he turns back to David, hoping that the plan will reveal itself.

“What are you feeling for dinner?”

For a second, Patrick thinks he sees a look of panic pass over David’s face, but it’s gone in an instant, replaced by a thoughtful crease of his eyebrows. 

“I just remembered that I forgot something at the motel,” he says. “You can start dinner without me, I’ll be right back.”

He starts to stand up, and suddenly, his face goes pale, and he staggers forward. Alarmed, Patrick sprints over and wraps David’s arm around his shoulders, trying to support him. He eases him back onto the couch and gives him a concerned look-over. His face is still whiter than usual, and he’s breathing hard.

“Are you okay?” Patrick asks.

“Fine I—” David massages his forehead with one hand. “I got a little dizzy there, that’s all. Stood up too fast.” 

Patrick’s pretty sure he knows what this is really about. As he heads over to the kitchen to get David a glass of juice, he steels himself for the difficult conversation to come.

He hands David the glass, and while he’s slowly sipping on it, Patrick starts talking.

“David, I first want you to know that I love and support you, no matter what. I’m not accusing you of anything, I’m not planning to leave you, and this isn’t an attack of any kind. I only want to understand, and I want to support you, in any way I can.”

Though this declaration may seem like overkill, Patrick knows firsthand exactly how flighty David can be. Even if this goes well, there’s at least an 80 percent chance that David will have a meltdown midway through. 

David purses his lips, looking amused. “Okay, honey, you can just tell me if my habit of leaving mugs lying around is getting out of hand. I won’t take it personally.”

“To be honest, David, it’s a bit more serious than that.” He takes the hand of David’s that’s not holding the glass between his own two hands. “I noticed that you’ve been avoiding meals lately.”

David visibly flinches, but he doesn’t draw his hand away. Patrick keeps going.

“Alexis was worried, and she mentioned to me that you had had difficulties with eating before. You don’t owe me a story or an explanation, but I want to know how I can best help you get through this.”

David rolls his eyes. “Trust Alexis to blow this out of proportion,” he mutters. "I can't believe she went behind my back to talk to you."

“I don’t think she was blowing it out of proportion,” Patrick gently contradicts. “It sounded pretty serious to me.”

Turning away from Patrick, David huffs, a familiar sound that Patrick takes comfort in. 

“Look,” he reiterates, “I don’t want to push you past where you’re comfortable. But relationships require trust, and I hope that you trust me enough to share this part of you with me. I’m not judging you.”

There’s another long pause, and David seems to make a decision. He sets his shoulders straight, and he turns back to Patrick.

“I’ll explain some of it—” he says, and he holds up a hand before Patrick can speak, “—but you have to let me go all the way through. I won’t be able to get the words out otherwise.”

By his words, he seems to be handling this well, and his voice sounds steady. But Patrick is holding his hand, and he can feel how hard it’s shaking. In response, he grips it tighter.

“I had a pretty shitty time as a teenager,” David admits. “I was, like, surrounded by the children of the rich and powerful, but I was never quite perfect enough to look like one of them.” One of the corners of his mouth quirks upwards. “I think I tried everything possible to fit in. I bought all the clothes from their stupid fashion trends. I got bangs. I had a bellybutton piercing at one point.”

Patrick resists the urge to probe deeper into that one. It can wait for another time.

“But then when I was, maybe 16? The newest trend became a body type. It was all about looking as skinny as possible, and the obsessions were centered around the latest fad diet. For everyone else, the trend died after a couple of months. It was too much work just to eat lettuce and carrots all the time. For me, though, it stuck around for a little longer than that. Like I said, I was always the odd one out.” 

He smiles wryly, and Patrick feels a physical pain in his chest. All he wants is to go back in time and get to David before the rest of the world got to him and told him he wasn’t enough.

“It was an appearance thing, and then it was a control thing, and then it wasn’t anything, really. It was just who I was. And I accepted that. There were some times when it was worse than others, of course, It came and went. My family was there to witness the first spectacular catastrophe, but that wasn’t the last one. From then on through my twenties it was basically one big shitshow of starvation and binging and purging and repeat. 

It was right before all this—” he gestures in front of him, as if to signify his life, “—happened, actually, that I decided I had enough. I didn’t want to live like that anymore, because it was exhausting and repetitive, and I was losing a lot more than weight. And Alexis may have been on my ass. I went into a recovery program, and when I came out, I was better.”

“Better?” Patrick echoes.

David winces. “More or less. The move was rough, but I got through it okay. This is my first…slip up…in years. It’s nowhere as bad as it used to be, though. It will pass, if we give it enough time.”

Patrick pulls David closer to him, wrapping him in a hug. For a long time, he doesn’t say anything, just holds David close, feels his heart pounding through his chest. There were articles he read about how eating disorders could kill through heart failure. He thanks God that David’s heart is still here, still beating, still as big and strong as ever. 

“I know you were on your own in this for most of your life,” he says into David’s chest. “I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you before this. But that doesn’t mean you have to be alone in this now.”

David pulls apart from Patrick far enough to meet his gaze. His eyes are glassy. “It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known.”

“I’m here now, though,” Patrick says fiercely. “I am here, and we are going to get through this. We are going to find you a therapist or a dietician, or whatever you need. I will sit and eat every meal with you, if necessary. I refuse to let you suffer alone. You’ve had to do that far too much already.”

David looks like he’s dangerously close to losing it altogether. “Thank you,” he whispers. “I’ve never known anyone who cared as much as you do.”

“How could I not?” Patrick laughs, lightly. “You’re the most incredible person I’ve ever known, and it’s been a privilege to fall in love with you. We’re walking through this together. I’m not letting you go.”

He pulls David closer again, and they hold each other, not saying anything, slowly breathing in sync. Softly, so softly that David can’t hear, Patrick whispers into his hair, “I’m not letting you go for the rest of my life. I love you, David Rose.”

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing fic in ages, but I just finished this show, and I'm obsessed with the stories of these characters. I hope this fic did them some justice, because I did enjoy writing it. IIt didn't exactly go in the direction I expected, I would love to explore more of this relationship in the future. All comments and kudos are appreciated!
> 
> https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/help-support/contact-helpline   
> (If you're looking for a sign to get help, this is your sign)


End file.
